


Let's steal a cat!

by captaindora



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Characters, F/M, Fluff, Kinda, and maybe some humor, anyway i haven't been following the general trends for this pairing lately, anyway this is just fluffy fluff, as always, chloe is a potty mouth, i need to make up for it, no cats were harmed in writing this fic, or maybe she just likes dirty jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 23:25:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14904182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captaindora/pseuds/captaindora
Summary: TOW Chloé and Nath need to escape from a boring party without anyone seeing them leave.originally was based on this tumblr prompt:"we just met at a party and we didn't really want to talk to anyone so we concocted an elaborate plan on how to steal all of the food in the room and it was going great until you spilled salsa all over me"then some changes happened, then it went places





	Let's steal a cat!

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this like half a year ago and only now found the energy and willpower to edit it. i don't think i was drunk while writing it, but considering how 1) stupid 2) ridiculous it is, who knows????  
> yehaw

The party was decidedly terrible, Chloé thought, pursing her lips and looking around, giving the whole room the stink eye. It was Alix’s birthday party and the whole class was there, in her family’s house just outside Paris. Usually Chloé loved parties, but today she was feeling alone and annoyed. Sabrina was sick and had do stay at home, and not having her around always made Chloé feel somewhat lonely (though she would never admit it aloud, of course!), but today she felt abandoned by virtually everyone.

Of course, when Sabrina wasn’t around, Chloé usually spent her time around Adrien, but today she didn’t want to bother Adrien and his blossoming romance with Marinette. A couple years before him dating Marinette would’ve made Chloé incredibly angry and jealous, but now her feeling for Adrien were long gone, and she wasn’t even sure if that was really a crush or just her believing she was meant to date the cutest boy in school. Not that she doesn’t love Adrien, of course, he still was her oldest friend, but now him falling in love with another girl didn’t really bother her. Sometimes, like today, she felt left out, and while being left out isn’t a nice feeling in general, at a party it becomes about a hundred times worse. She had a couple of drinks, thinking it would lift up her spirits, but the alcohol simply dulled the feeling of loneliness, but wasn’t enough to make her cheerful.

Now that she already entered that melancholic mood, Chloé didn’t want to make any effort to shake it off and make herself feel better, so she just looked around, disinterestedly judging everyone around her, until she locked eyes with someone who looked every bit as bored and unthrilled to be there as herself. Though, possibly, for him it was a more natural state, since Nath has never been the life and soul of the party.

Even though they were classmates, Chloé and Nath’s paths didn’t cross much, at least, until that evening. Slowly, Chloé made her way across the room to Nath and quietly stood beside him, as if trying the terrain. For a few seconds neither of them said anything, at least not aloud. Instead, they exchanged a couple of quick glances, coming up to a silent agreement about the fact that they were companions in misfortune and forging something akin to an alliance based on that.

“It’s weird to see you looking so bored,” Nath finally said, turning his head to look at Chloé. “I thought you liked parties.”

Chloé just shrugged. Even she couldn’t enjoy every single party, right?

“Wanna get out of here?” she asked instead of replying.

“I don’t know. Maybe,” Nath raised his eyebrows, tilting his head slightly and looking at Chloé with suspicion, as if trying to decide whether her proposition was harmless. “Will it make any difference?”

Chloé considered his question for a few seconds.

“Well, it won’t make things worse, that’s for sure. Especially if we take some food with us.”

Nath considered that suggestion for a second or two, then nodded.

“All right, but I don’t want to look rude or anything.”

_Oh, who cares!_ Chloé wanted to exclaim; really, Nath was always bothered by the most unimportant things, like whether people would consider them sneaking out of the house rude. As if them two not being there would spoil anyone else’s fun. Tough chance, considering how everyone seemed perfectly able to enjoy themselves without Chloé or Nath. Though, she thought, it certainly would be better if no one sees them leaving together. She wouldn’t want any kind of rumors going around, even if they weren’t true. At all.

“Well, then we’ll have to be stealthy. How about we go to the kitchen to get some food and then sneak out somehow?”

“Alright,” Nath said, sounding more convinced than Chloé expected. Which was nice, actually.

Carefully, trying not to attract anyone’s attention, Chloé slid along the wall towards the hall and headed towards the kitchen, Nath following her suit.

Nath jerked the kitchen door open and then immediately shut it close with an expression of horror on his face.

“What’s the matter?” Chloé asked, raising her eyebrow.

“It’s Kim and Max, and they are… you know…” Nath muttered, looking as if he just saw a very naughty ghost.

It clicked pretty fast, especially after Chloé heard something that sounded like a soft moan coming from behind the door.

“Oh my god,” she exclaimed, her hand flying to her mouth. “Are they having sex right there?!”

“No, not sex,” Nath replied, this time almost without stuttering. “But they are certainly gonna get there pretty soon.”

Don’t imagine that, Chloé, _do not imagine that._

_Think about something else, Chloé, for your own good._

Chloé shook her head, trying to shake that image away. She really should better concentrate on her own problems.

“But how are we gonna get the food then?” she asked, since entering the kitchen now seemed out of the question. Sure, she had every right to open that door and walk inside, but god, she didn’t want to.

Nath shrugged, confused. So no help from him on this problem. Whatever. Hopefully he’ll realize how lucky he was to have her, Chloé Bourgeois, world’s best problem-solver.

“Ok, I know. We need a diversion. Something to make them leave the kitchen.” Chloé said with her usual confidence. Kim and Max making out in the kitchen was an obstacle to the sneaking out plan, but she could overcome it, she just need to think of the way to do so.

Coming up with a good idea has always been the most difficult part, the drinks she had not making thinking easier.

“Okay, so you can go there and say you’d like to join them,” Chloé said. “Either they refuse and then feel uncomfortable enough around you, so that they leave, or they accept, and then you can move to one of the bedrooms with them.”

Nath looked at her with an expression of absolute horror on his suddenly pale face.

“Oh, come on!” Chloé exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. “It’s just a joke!”

Nath exhaled, visibly relaxing.

“You have a weird sense of humor,” he said. Chloé just shrugged. Her jokes were great, but what would he know. “I mean, I could also go inside and show them my tits to scare them off,” she suggested.

“That’s a joke, too, right?” Nath asked, this time less worried than before.

“Oh course it’s a joke,” Chloé replied, winking at him. “You learn fast.”

He smiled at her. The smile was shy and fleeting, but Chloé liked it. She was just about to smile back when he asked:

“So you don’t have a real plan, right?”

She crinkled her nose.

“Not yet. I need to think. You could help, too, you know?” she said, pouting. Nath just shrugged, as if taking any responsibility away from himself.

The next crazy idea wasn’t long in coming.

“A cat!” Chloé exclaimed, suddenly bubbling over with excitement induced by her very own geniality. “We can steal a cat!”

“What the fuck, Chloé?” was Nath’s only reply.

Oh, geniuses are never understood by simple minds.

“No, you don’t understand, it’s the perfect plan. See, we put a cat inside the kitchen and its presence makes them feel uncomfortable and they decide to find themselves a room,” she continued insistently, waving hands with newfound energy.

“And where are we gonna get a cat right now?” Nath asked, narrowing his eyes.

“I just said that, why don’t you listen! We’re gonna steal it! Alix’s neighbors have a cat, I remember her posting about it on the Instagram, and I’m sure about it, because I thought that it was the ugliest creature I’ve ever seen!”

“Let me get this straight,” Nath said, looking at her as if she were crazy. “You suggest somehow sneaking into the house next door, stealing their goddamn cat, then coming back here, but this time with a cat, which would totally not raise any questions, and then throwing the poor animal into the kitchen, where, judging by the sounds, some real action is happening already?”

Okay, this did sound crazy. But just a minute before, it seemed like such a good plan… Of course, Nath had to dump on it.

“Well, if you put it like that…” Chloé said with a sigh. “But what else can we do?”

“To be honest,” Nath said, biting his lip, “I’m not completely sure I want any food from this kitchen now, because it sounds like their make out session has already moved too far.”

He was right; the noises inside certainly hinted at something more intense than just a make out. Ew.

Chloé winced.

“Yeah, so the kitchen food it out of the question,” she agreed. “What do we do now?”

“There was food in the living room. Maybe steal that?”

That actually was a good suggestion. Except that they still needed some kind of plan on how to do that without attracting any attention.

Chloé nodded and turned, heading to the living room and looking around for the inspiration, Nath following her quietly.

The inspiration, as always, came unexpectedly, in a form of a blanket on one of the couches. Chloé yanked it off the couch and waved it triumphantly in front of Nath. He looked at her quizzically as she announced: “This is your food-stealing poncho! We’re gonna put it on you and then you can hide the food under it and no one will see. I’ll distract the guys in the living room, so you grab the food and then go outside and wait for me, okay?”

Not giving Nath any time to rebut that plan, she wrapped the blanket around his shoulders. It made a surprisingly nice poncho, instantly transforming Nath into some kind of an aristocrat in hiding, as if he was born into a noble family, but felt so deceived by social inequality that he decided to run away and live his life as a cowboy, a lonely ranger. He also looked a lot like Nath wrapped in a blanket, but that’s because he was.

“So you understand the plan?” Chloé asked, looking him in the eye, not a shade of doubt over her face. “I’m gonna go there and distract everyone and then you grab all the food you can hold and wait for me outside, all right?”

Nath nodded, although he didn’t look convinced her plan was going to work at all. Well, he’ll see.

 

 

The air outside was so refreshingly cool after the stuffy air of the house, Chloé felt better the moment she stepped outside. Before closing the door quietly after her, she looked back in the hall, but it seemed like no one had seen her leave. So her plan did work, after all.

Nath was waiting for her on the porch, sitting on the blanket that he put on one of the steps. He motioned to Chloé, offering her place next to him.

“So who won?” Nath asked, as she sat down beside him.

“I let her win,” Chloé said, crinkling her nose. “When I saw you leave, I had to end it as fast as I could.”

“Let her win, heh?” he asked, teasing her, flickers of mischief in his eyes. Chloé pouted.

“Yes, and you better believe that, because I did it to help you as well.”

“Okay,” he replied, and for a moment they sat there in silence, contemplating Alix’s garden and breathing in cool air filled with the sweet scent of flowers. The twilight, the quietness and stillness of the world around made Chloé feel bizarre, as if she just stepped into a universe that wasn’t completely real, and in that universe she and Nath were the only existing people. It made her feel some strange intimacy, because the usual social rules didn’t work in this surreal universe, so they were left to be their most honest selves, dangerously close both physically and emotionally in the gentle summer night.

Nath was the one to break the silence.

“I can’t believe you did that,” he said, shaking his head and smiling at her. He had such a nice smile – it was quiet, as everything about him, soft and unexpectedly warm.

“Well, I had to distract them somehow, didn’t I?” she smiled back. “Challenging Alya to a dance-off wasn’t the worst way of doing that. Though,” she pouted, “I hate losing. Ugh, it’s more bearable if it’s on purpose, but I still hate it. Also,” she complained, massaging her right shoulder and wincing slightly, “I think I strained my shoulder somehow, because it hurts.”

Suddenly she felt the cold touch of his fingers on her shoulder and almost jumped.

“What are you doing?” she asked, looking at him and realizing they were sitting closer than she believed, so that when she looked at him, his eyes looked so big and almost magnetic, filling her mind with the crazy thought about moving even closer.

They were dangerously close, especially now, him almost hugging her, his hand on her bare skin. She swallowed and repeated her question, because he wasn’t answering. In fact, he wasn’t doing anything, he was just staring at her as well, as if they were both entranced and she was the one who had to break the spell.

“What are you doing?”

He shook his head slightly, as if trying to shake off a thought or to snap out of a weird dream.

“Applying cold. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do with muscle strains?”

“Oh,” was all she could manage. She had to admit that his cold fingers did feel very nice on her hot skin, though she thought his method for applying cold was extremely unusual.

“And why is your hand so cold?” she asked, “If you’re cold, they you shouldn’t have taken off the blanket poncho.”

“Nah, I’m not cold, it’s just my hands, they’re always cold. I guess it’s just my natural body temperature. But you’re going a very good job of making me feel warmer.”

She could feel it, too, because now her skin was almost burning where he was touching her. Chloé felt as if the alternate reality they both found themselves in was taking over them and she was afraid to know where that could lead them. She turned, moving a few inches away from him and making him take his hand away.

“So, the food!” she announced in a loud, fake-cheerful voice. “What do we have here?”

She considered Nath’s loot for a second and then looked up at him, with a discontent look on her face.

“Chips and soda? Seriously? That’s all?”

“Well, what else did you want?” Nath asked, more surprised than defensive. He opened a bag of chips and offered it to her.

“I don’t know, maybe something more healthy? Do you know what kind of shit they put in there?”

“Look, Chloé, I don’t wanna be rude, but did you see anything else there? Maybe there’s a nice fresh salad somewhere in the kitchen, but that’s restricted area, so we’ll have to make do with what we have.”

Chloé pouted, because he was right and she knew it. Well, when she couldn’t fix something, at least she could always complain about it.

“Still,” she said, “Ew. Ew, ew, ew!”

“You know, Chloé,” Nath laughed, looking at her with amusement “it would’ve been way more believable if you weren’t chewing so fast. Here, try this flavor.” He offered her another bag of chips. Chloé looked at him with feigned annoyance, because she liked complaining about things just for the sake of it, but she didn’t want to be too ridiculous, so she just mumbled an ‘okay’. He laughed again, but with such pure and kind joy, that she couldn’t help but laugh with him.

 

Chloé couldn’t tell why, but her heart was filling up with some warm, comfortable feeling – maybe it was Nath’s laugh, or the indistinct sound of music from the house, the softness of the night, or maybe just being alone with him in such a peaceful setting. She would’ve never imagined sitting with Nath on the porch like that, but now that it was happening, she loved it.

A sudden noise made her jump. A small creature that looked like a mix between a cat, a hideous goblin and a malicious gnome crawled out of the bushes. Either the death came after her during one the nicest moments of her life, which would be completely unfair, or it was Alix’s neighbours’ cat.

The creature meowed. So that is definitely a cat.

“You see!” Chloé exclaimed, turning to Nath and throwing her hands up in a mix of triumph and accusation. “I was right! It would’ve been easy!”

“What?” Nath asked, dumbfounded.

“My plan! We totally should’ve stolen the cat!”


End file.
